How to Heal a Marriage Hurt by Addiction

by
julio 15, 2022

Sarah Allen Benton, M.S., LMHC., LPC, is a licensed mental health counselor and author of Understanding the High-Functioning Alcoholic. Our picture perfect marriage lasted a week. For one week I felt confident and safe and assured. For one week I felt truly hopeful and happy.

During your or your spouse’s recovery process, there may be an opportunity to attend family or marriage counseling. Just as you need help overcoming the chains of addiction, the marriage trauma after substance abuse should be addressed with professional assistance. The person who has just recovered from substance abuse disorder will have to put in efforts to rebuild the lost trust. The survival of the marriage will depend on whether both of them are reading from the same page and are willing to make amends and offer support whenever possible.

Ask Erin: I Think Sobriety Is Killing My Marriage

And so, love maps of all those levels of the sound relationship house, these nine different levels that we discovered in the couples research. So, it provides this opportunity to be updated on what you know. Do you have any dreams and goals and aspirations? I don’t know about you want to talk about it?

marriage after sobriety

Marriages—or other, long-term, committed relationships—and substance abuse don’t mix. If your partner drinks too much, the effect is felt by his or her spouse and marriage after sobriety children, friends, relatives, and coworkers. So is this something like an unfulfilled dream for me, you don’t you my partner do not have to have that same dream.

Choosing Unhealthy Partners.

We all make mistakes in relationships, right? Yeah, that’s how you define these things, is to say it’s a transition and we’re building new sort of a new way to relate https://ecosoberhouse.com/ to one another. So, the healing comes in, in our ability to manage emotions. I think it’s really, really interesting. And when I read it, it makes a ton of sense.

  • ” Again, the answer is yes, couples can recover together.
  • And so, this couple I was my research.
  • I think you need to let him go for now.
  • His absence from our home gave me the necessary space to process how addiction had turned our lives upside down so quickly.
  • The survival of our marriage lived in that forgiveness.

Which is lovely, because I’m not mad at myself. So, people say things that they enter under the influence, so their frontal lobes are not working the show in the moment, right, so that what’s happening in the brain is disinhibition. I’ve spoken to so many people who, after drinking episode will come back and say, Oh, I can’t believe I said those things. They felt bad about saying it, because it wasn’t true.

Enabling Addiction

But I’ve never been able to find statistics about the divorce rate of marriages when the abusive drinker is in recovery. I don’t think that is a subset that’s ever been studied scientifically. While my sample size is not large enough to publish the results, something like four of every five marriages I’m aware of where an alcoholic spouse quit drinking resulted in divorce. That’s an unscientific 80 percent, and I think it’s probably a little on the low side. But those aren’t the important numbers – not to me, anyway.

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